Welcome to the Website of Hampstead's Favourite (and only) Local Satirical Magazine...
EDITION 21 IS OUT NOW!
"Required breakfast reading is the latest issue of Hampstead’s revered satirical rag, the Hampstead Village Voice..." - The New York Times. 26.09.2013
WHAT'S IN EDITION 21?
The current edition features three stories about the dubious activities surrounding the building of dams on Hampstead Heath, support for our comrades in Belsize Parkistan who are fighting off the evil empire that is TESCO-STRESSCO, the 2015 Leaf Blower Awards winner and a good old fashioned rant at NAT WEST BANK in the Financial Crimes section. And there's more...
THE HEATH DAMS - Corruption afoot? Hampstead Heath in peril p.7
THE HIGH STREET SPY - Andrews of Hampstead and New End Nurses home latest p.9
POND LIFE - David Lewis with an in depth report on that dam pond project p.15
RED SZELL has a good rant about the French café and bakery invasion p.18
TESCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS - The only 12-step programme you’ll ever need p.19
THE LEAF BLOWER AWARDS 2015 - Sandy Markiwick with winning alternatives p.20
FINANCIAL CRIMES - GNAT WEST, the bank that likes to say Naaaah p.22
WHY I FIGHT FOR MY VILLAGE - Goldstein grasses up Hampstead to Japanese p.23
KLAUS VON KUNST - Hampstead Art scene minus the nudism p.25
GOING POSTAL - Postman Pat gets a transfer and a shock p.27
HAMPSTONIANISM - It’s not a thought crime. Letters and other stuff p.29 - 36
MINIMUM WAGE CAPTION COMPETITION - Cor blimey! £6.19 could be yours p.34
HAMPSTONIAN OBITUARY - Much loved Well Walker, Vicky Wocker p.35
PUBWATCH - John Graham on THE HOLLY BUSH and other pubic house news p.36
WHERE TO BUY
As of January 2015, the Hampstead Village Voice will cost you a mere £1.00 at nearly any newsagent in:
HAMPSTEAD, SAFF END GREEN, BELSIZE PARKISTAN, CHALKY FARM & STEAL YER WALLET VILLAGE, PRIMROSIA, SOVIET GULAG of WEST HAMPSTEAD, SAFF HAMPSTEAD, SWIZZ COTTAGE, THE FINCHLEY ROAD WALL, GOLDERS GREEN-ALREADY, KENTISHTAHNISTAN and the UNION of SOVIET SCAMDEN REPUBLICS.
Better still, to help encourage Hampstead's small shop economy, all outlets will now keep the entire cover price for themselves as the magazine will be funded purely from advertising and mysterious private benefactors with fluffy white cats and underground swimming ponds filled with man-eating piranha fish.
From 2015, the Hampstead Village Voice's circulation will be a rather splendiferous 10,000 copies. Although still reporting exclusively on matters Hampstonian, the HVV will also be available in our splendid satellite state of Saff End Green and such exotic foreign lands as Belsize Parkistan, the Soviet Gulag of Whampers, Al-HighQuaida, Primrosia and the Union of Soviet Scamden Republics - Ed. Scamden? Splitters!
THE METROPLITAN BOROUGH OF HAMPSTEAD
Once local shops have been given a chance to make some well needed spondulix, some 7,000 magazines will be distributed throughout the Metropolitan Borough of Hampstead, i.e. Hampstead Garden Suburb, West Hampstead, South End Green, Belsize Park and Swiss Cottage via a doorstep distribution. Doors with "No Junkmail" and the gnashing of frothing, Rotweiler's teeth behind letterboxes will be evaded.
Slightly Crappy Online Edition
And for all those ex-pat Hampstonians and tablet junkies, we are introducing an online edition to be released a month after 'proper' publication, so that no one - not even the bosses at Scamden Council, the CEO of Tesco-Stressco or the Prime Minister of Airstrip One - need be deprived of Hampstonia's favourite local, satirical magazine.
WARNING: this online version is purposfully crap to encourage readers to spend a whole pound on the real thing. Save your local newsagent from death by Tescopoly.
Edition 20 is ONLINE NOW
Toodle-pip and Viva Hampstonia, land of the not so free!
Emmanuel 'Mustafa' Goldstein esq.
Editor and unsworn adversary of Big Brother (Both Orwellian and televisual).
Terms & Conditions do not apply.
Consult your pharmacist if you must.
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